by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Stereo-type thinking might suggest that when it comes to the word “no” for a man it means “end of discussion.” Whereas, for a women it’s often perceived as the “beginning of a negotiation.” (quoted by Gavin de Becker author of Gift of Fear)

While there maybe some truth to this overall behavioral stereo-type, I believe there is also a distinction between women who are domestic abuse survivors and those who clearly are not.

For those who clearly are not, their “no” is NOT felt from the inside out as a “maybe,” nor is it interpreted as a challenge to convert into a “yes” by the person receiving the “no.”

However for the domestic abuse survivor, it is just that. “No” means maybe, from the outside in AND from the inside out.

These little subtle communication patterns as I’ve called them are a clear tip-off when one is engaged in an abusive relationship . They are a “red flag.”

As you pay attention to the red flags from the outside in as well as from the inside out, you become more and more responsible to and for your ultimate well being.

For more information on the five red flags of intimate partner violence, I invite you to visit www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com . Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., founding director of Partners in Prevention helps people identify, end and heal from domestic abuse.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 at 4:50 am and is filed under Abuse Insights. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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