"Recognize an Abusive Relationship, Instantly. And Learn the 5 'Red Flags' to be Aware of..."

From the Desk of Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Executive Director of Partners in Prevention

Dear Friend,

If you've ever wondered or asked the question, "Am I in one?" ("Am I in an abusive relationship?"), I encourage you to read the following page very carefully!

When it comes to the topic of abusive relationships, often I hear questions like these:

"Is this abuse?" That's a question we ask again and again, even when we have the answer from the core of our being.

Yet, your partner continues to say, "It's in your head," "You just bruise too easily," or how about this one, "If you weren't so sensitive..."

And when all these fail to convince or confuse you, he/she claims, "It was an accident," caused by you. "It's your fault." "You made me do it." "You made me say it."

And then when the abuse, that is the "elephant under the carpet," is not being covered up, you're showered with promises of change...of peace...and more.

It can be very confusing.

Deep down inside, your question lingers. Is this a dangerously abusive relationship?

And with this question unanswered, your pain multiplies. The outbursts haunt you and, more often than not, they magnify...while remedy gets further and further from your reach.

And then, to add insult to injury...

All too often, what we do to treat "it" (like marriage/couples counseling) aggravates it. And when push comes to shove, what we do to arrest "it" has the potential to inflame it.

All awhile, many people living domestic abuse remain perplexed in, and by, it. Is it the hitting, the verbal licks, the mental manipulations? What is it?

What is domestic abuse, spousal abuse, intimate partner violence?

You may be wondering why listen to me?

I have been helping people identify intimate partner abuse and family violence for nearly a decade. And I serve as a consulting expert on both civil and criminal domestic abuse cases.

The first book I wrote on the subject, All But My Soul, became a college textbook in criminal justice. Since this time, I've published over 547 articles on identifying, ending and healing domestic abuse.

I formed nonprofit Partners in Prevention, dedicated to helping healthcare providers identify domestic abuse and cultivate skills to help patients who are victims of violence. We also have a family violence prevention and intervention program.

I am a seasoned psychologist of 39 years. And this background gives me the benefit of understanding the psychosocial dynamics that bind abusive relationships as well as the mechanics of healing relationship violence.

Knowing "It" from the inside out

But all of my knowledge about the dynamics of domestic abuse and healing abuse doesn't come from the hundreds of books I have read or from the people I have helped. It also comes from the fact that I, too, lived the nightmare of domestic violence.

So I know it from the inside out, as well. And I know how hard it is to get the answer, Am I in a dangerously abusive relationship?

I truly understand how important it is for you to clearly and accurately identify what you are struggling with at home and in your relationship. And I know the benefits this will yield to you and to your entire family.

There are answers to your questions

You have the answer to that pressing question, Am I in dangerously abusive relationship? You understand what intimate partner violence is. You know what partner/spousal abuse is. You know the signs of emotional and verbal abuse. And you have insight into what stops it.



The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® will take you by the hand and give you answers to your burning questions, instantly!

What is the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®?

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® is a tool I developed to help people recognize domestic abuse when it lives in their lives. I was inspired to develop this screening tool by audiences I addressed, coast to coast, who repeatedly asked me to help them help others see what's so obvious-looking from the outside in.

My primary audience consisted of healthcare professionals. Physicians and nurses nationwide wanted to know, "How do I shine light?" for patients who are being abused.

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® is a private, user-friendly, quick, accurate screen for intimate partner violence, commonly called spousal abuse, intimate partner abuse, domestic abuse or domestic violence.

It hones in on the dynamics of intimate partner abuse, unclouded by other relationship issues. Through its specialized focus, the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® brings the abuse issue into view making it easier for you to detect should it be there.

And if your experience is indeed NOT intimate partner violence (that is, if it doesn't fulfill the diagnostic criteria for intimate partner violence), that will become apparent as well.

Knowing the distinction between substance abuse and partner abuse makes it possible to select the appropriate intervention for one's circumstances.

I can't emphasize the importance of this enough! You wouldn't want treatment for one condition if you indeed suffered from another condition, would you?

Then there are those of us who are indeed entangled in domestic abuse yet can't, or won't, recognize it because we don't think we identify with the issue. ("It's something that happens to other people!")

The Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® identifies the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships as well the gross interaction patterns. And it shows you the inner and outer manifestations of partner abuse, helping you see...

The more you understand about how this syndrome lives in your life, the easier it will be for you to stop it before it spirals out of control. You do not have to become one of the people who say, "I was glad when he hit me and broke my jaw, because then I knew what I was dealing with."

You can identify intimate partner abuse and all of its verbal emotional abuse signs long before it spirals into physical abuse and long before it spirals out of control. You and your family do not deserve to be a causality of domestic violence.


Readily distinguish what is yours and what is not yours. By revealing the underlying dynamics of domestic abuse, the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® will show you what's within your control and what's absolutely not yours to control.

This knowing makes it possible for you to direct your energy to what you can change. ...And most important, helps you surrender responsibility for what you can't change.

Shouldering blame for your partner's behavior or feeling you earned and deserved "it" adds insult to injury. And more serious is the fact that this is the key factor to keeping abused partners entrapped.

When you clarify what is yours and what is not yours, you open the door for real, authentic and lasting change. Your health and well-being are an arms reach to be returned to you.

It did for me; it can for you. Your restful sleep, normal digestion, healthy elimination, mental clarity, stamina, and even your inner well-being can be yours to enjoy.