Adult Child's Abusive Relationship -

3 Mistakes Parents Make in Helping Their Children in Abusive Relationships


Dr. King

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.


Parents are often the first to recognize when their children are in abusive relationships. However, their awareness is not always used to the benefit of their abused children.

Why? Because of the fumble that occurs when they make one or more of the following 3 deadly mistakes parents make when they come to the aid of their children in abusive relationships.


1) Parents may attempt to shine the light on the abusive relationship as though they are telling their child that this is a bad food to eat or this is a bad investment to consider. And they expect their adult child to awaken to reality as they themselves see it.


This more often than not does not work, because of their close familial proximity to the abused partner.


2) Parents of children abused by intimate partners frequently fail to factor in the dynamics of their own relationship with their children when they “come to the aid” of their child.


And these very parent-child dynamics can, and often do, serve as the glue that adds to solidifying their child’s abusive relationship.


3) Parents who are steadfast in their beliefs about what’s good for and not good for their children can resort to creating contingencies around their child’s staying/leaving the relationship.


And this will invariably backfire and even spiral into a power struggle between parent and child, as well as ignite resentment that overshadows the pain of the abusive relationship.


So what can you do when you sense, or know, your adult child is in an abusive relationship? The exact same thing you would do if your child needed a root canal or some other clinical intervention. Find a professional with expertise in the issues before you, enlist their services and support the process you engage.


The earlier you get out of your own way and rely on the resources of objective professionals, the sooner you will be influential in helping your adult child awaken to and deal with their abusive relationship.


For more information about the dynamics of abusive relationships, visit claim your free Survivor Success Tips and eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals and families, nationwide, recognize end and heal from domestic abuse. ©2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

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Dr. Jeanne King is a licensed psychologist and domestic abuse consultant. Feel free to contact us if you need help with physical and/or emotional pain, stress-related illnesses, or relationship abuse issues at home or in court. Contact Us to reach Dr. King.